its 2005 now...
starting to blog again after.................er.............dunno how longg....
plain laziness heehee.............
jus hope i become more "unlazy" fr 2005 onwards....
hehe....

2005만년돈...
더더욱 행복할래요...^^
자주 부로그도 해야쥐~!!

*huggezzzz*its been like more den two months since i last blogged...tts a long long time~!!!haha
...lotsa things happened during tis short but long two months...haha...got back wif him...went to both 03' n o4' sec 3 camps...still the same cold "hi" shared wif other him...haha...ok he's jus a fren now...but a cold frenship...nono ok wad ever???....ahhhhhh........k not gonna think too much~...ok missed church camp...*tt sux* so wanted to go....finished christmas concert *was so awesome*...school reopened...*cried under e starry nite* at 04' sec3 camp of physical n emotional n mental exhaustion* but the nite sky was so so so beauitful...the sky was so full of stars n memories...^^...tho it wont be able to replace my memory of no.1 starry nite last yr...
*shi**...k muz stop toking bot all tis sad stuff....now i m happy wif *my guy*...n he is happy wif *his gerl*....n i got over everything...yup ts rite~!!!
ya i guess pretty much tts all...
got lots to write....but i guess next time...too tired now~!

ps*thot of lyrics...haha...my own....
밤 하늘에 수만은 별들과
아침바다 함께 보자던 그약속
잊이못할 수만은 기억과
영원히 간직 하고싶은 추억들...
haha...lame....tts all i can think of~!!!

ahhhh...its ben like a thousand yrs since i last blogged...hehe...
i guess its jus plain laziness=p...n i finally got the lyrics for the song "on my own" from "les miserable"....
but lyrics sorta sad...hehe...but i think wad e lyrics say is true bot one sided love...-

*on my own*
And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to
Without a home without a friend
Without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near
I can make believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed And I can live inside my head

On my own Pretending he's beside me
All alone I walk with him till morning
Without him I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness,
the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone The river's just a river
Without him The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him But every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me His world would go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known

I love him(x3)
But only on my own

one sided love....damn painful...but i guess when u love someone...
seeing tt person happy makes u happy....n not wishing for anything more but his happiness...
ya...slowly learning i guess...haha
hmmm....
sec 3 camp is in two days...i hope it will be fun...ya create class n skool spirit...
haha...my group pple is pretty quiet pple...i m so gonna be a horrible leader...hai...n he is in my group...
haha...sorta freaked at first...but to think of it,...its ok i guess...i mean...we are still good frens anyway...

jus wished a fren happie bdae....didnt seem to really care....but at least he said thanx...
ya...but also found out he has a gf....haha...true anot gonna believe him...haha


ok mom's gonna come back tml..so i guess i wont be blogging for some time...n also not gonna go online for some time...
so everybody take care~!!!!*huggies*

jus feel real...sad today...jus asd for no reason...
ya really...gonna hav let go of everything...tt i hav been holding on to...
haha...
n i m goin to...really go on...^^ jus like i used to...
*smilez*

first my results are *bad* n i mean really *bad* not tt i m proud of it....second i had to say sorry to darly for e 3rd time again for not being able to attend city harvest...n lastly i m so grounded n home alone wif my bros...hai....mom jus flew back to korea to attend my gerat grand ma's funeral...i m so messed up....haha..
i guess my results are wad i deserved...but i really did put in effort...n tried my best tho i was having my worst time during exams...hai...i guess God jus was trying to teach me a lesson for putting somethin else before Him...sorry~!
n i jus found out tt i dun hav 6 months or time duration on my passport to go to malaysia for my church camp...i really wanted to cry there and then...hai...muz pray pray n pray tt whan i go to immigration on monday it can be extended n not e whole passport being renewed...or else its bye bye to church camp which i really wanna go...hai...so worried for so many things...*God i m really putting every thing before u...pls...help me n guide me the best way out of everything...n for church camp..i really wanna go...so pls....pls...n pls....hai...let it be extended....n not the whole passport renewed....*
n i guess i wont be blogging for the time being or fr two weeks fr now after tt i m not gonna be allowed to use the com untill God noes when my mom will allow mw to use the com...hai...

haha...i jus accidentally closed a window n click not to save wad i wrote...how stoopid...=x
lost everything...n cant be taken back...haha n it suddenly struck me tt ya...life is like tt if i accidentally press the wrong button n click "cancel" everything will be gone...which includes frenship, love, wadever kinda relationship, most priced posessions, but e only thing which will remaie is memories...i guess i had my share of good n bad memories...n it can be gone any minute so tts the only thing i really can treasure i guess...but y dun i jus treasure wad i hav n only noe how much it means only after its gone...haha...i guess humans are made to be like tt.................*bleahz*
hai..getting report book later n i dunno if i really wan to open it up to see...haha i guess i wud hav flunk everything...even my mom doent expect anything fr tis time's exam...haha...thank God for wad ever i get...

the job interview ytd SUCK~!!!...haha...they ask for name, age, n finally...thay say u can go home...wad the...
i didnt get e job anyway......but nvm bot tt...coz when i step into tt unilever building i did treally hav a good feeling...n sorta hoped i wont get it...haha *lame*... went all e way to boon lay jus to let a lady noe my name n age....but had a great time hanging out wif daryl in e evening...haha...n i was also taken aback by some *facts* which i didnt noe....anyway tts enough bot ytd i guess...haha...
today...i finished my 3rd book in 2 days....wow...haha~i didnt noe i cud really *read*...been awhile since i sat down n read...
but e funny thing was tt i read sweet valley senior high...n all e stories was bot graduation...n it struck me *wow time really* flies like lighting...jus ytd tt i want to kcp...but i m in sec 3...completed sec 3 n going onto e second major exam of my teen life...o level's...haha....sorta i guess....ya...so hav to buck up n really hit some book tis holidays...
n i sorta wrapped up my day wif a phone call fr one of my best budds...(=someone=)...he called asking me cud i accompany him in hunting down a perfect ring for his gf...haha...n tt point of time i thot i was gonna die...actually not die but...big part of me jus sank...haha...he is my best budd n happy tt he finally found someone who he really likes...but here i m like trying to getting over some huge heartbreak...n still holding on to tt one n only ring was given by tt one n only guy i wanted to be wif then...haha...i guess i'll jus hav to be his loyal fren n be happy n move oni guess...but i m happy for him haha...*God bless him n his gerl...*hmmm....
wrote alot of crap...haha...i guess i m gonna be gone now...haha*huggies for myself~*

ahh...i m goin for a job interview later...i hope i dun look too sickly...hehe...
but God noes where 320 jalan boon lay...Unilever is...i hav no idea so i decided to pull a fren along...
n e only person i cud think of was e only fren who i noe lives in boon lay...haha feel so weird asking him along...hope he doent mind...n hope his fren dosent mind...ya...haha...
its so boring at home...i guess i'll jus try improving my bloggy which i hav no idea how to lah but jus try..hehe...
*me= a born com idiot*hehe...
o n jus realise tt my name appear as esther choo...anyway for info...my christian name is esther...~!!^^got baptised wif tis name...n i love my name~!!^^*lame*-*bleah*